What we say influences how we think.
When we wield the phrase "make love to..." we perform an act of objectification.
"To" differs from "at" only in degree. When we "make love to" someone
we describe an action akin to throwing something at the object of desire.
The phrase describes only the actual act, and only from the point of view
of the "pitcher."
A more correct preposition in this situation is "with." It fully describes the mutuality of the event and takes inherent note of the non-physical aspects. It also emphasizes the making of a "product," whether that product be an offspring or the higher mutual regard of the participants for each other for the revelation of joy.
I think that how we describe things matters. Every time we say something is a "pain in the _____" we build the expectation of pain in that spot. When we make love "to" someone the underlying expectation is that the object will lie there and take it. When we do it "with" the expectation is coordinated participation. Which experience would you rather have?
If you decide to make the linguistic change you will have to deliberately use the new construction a lot for about two weeks. At the end of that time it should slip easily off the tongue. Let me know if things get better for you.